The Absolute Worst Feeling

Is coming home from an incredibly awesome vacation.

The more I go away from my "house", the more my mind wanders back to the fact that I reaaaallly don't like Maryland and have never truly felt "at home" here.

Past attempts to move westward have failed for me, but have not dashed all my hopes of eventually moving towards the land where the sun never stops shining. Until then, I guess this one bedroom cramped space of a "house" in Dumb-dalk will have to suffice.

I had a blast this past week(end). Aside from the fact that this was the beginning of the spring semester, I had taken the mandatory week off from work and thus only had school to worry about. Which, I will never do again. I was literally exhausted from just attending the looooong evening classes, finding myself falling asleep without any strength to hold onto through three hour long lectures, and even more boring labs. I am so frightened for tomorrow morning when I go back to work, have a whole week's worth of work to catch up on, in addition to the classes that last until 10:30 pm Monday-Thursday. AHHHH!!!

If there was a way to just never spend any money on anything, and save up every single penny and dime that I earned, just so I could live off of it and quit work to go to school full time - Jesus, I would.

I am starting to think that as soon as I possibly can, maybe I should start looking for a part time job, and try to cut my expenses a little bit (even though I know I am fooling myself because I cut my expenses as far as I possibly can as it is).

So now I am sitting here, with this empty feeling in my stomach that is coming from the fact that my best friend left my place about a little over an hour ago - to go back to reality. We had a fuckin' blast though. The weather was amazing, and we went to the beach nearly EVERY day we were there (except for one after my unfortunate tequila accident. That's what I am calling it. Regardless of what caused it, J will tell you, I certainly was F-ED up!!). We ate (by 'we' I mean J) ate lots of good food, and J even managed to get me to get out of bed for at least two of the days to go to the gym with him in the early morning and I even managed to get him to sleep in on the fourth day and wait to go to the gym in the afternoon!

I am really happy that I went, and I know he is as well. It was a nice ending to a very interesting summer for me.

In addition, I spent a majority of the time NOT WEARING a hat!!! YES!! Because J became my hat. I felt confident knowing that he didn't care whether I was losing my hair or not. I only thought about it randomly when I would stare at the bed and see pieces of my hair lying all over J's pillow or on the sheets. I would start OCDing and pulling the pieces and throwing them in the trash or over the side of the bed. But J definitely didn't seem to care.

AND we spent a crapload of time in that damn hotel jacuzzi. Damn was that fun. Woo hoo. We even decided to brave an OC night club "Party Block"...heh heh. Finding other Asians in that club was like a "unicorn sighting", J said. It was hilarious. That was also the night where we ran into this kid who was standing at the bar with us and started just talking about how much he loved trance and how him and his friend (who was Korean and thought J was Korean too!) were from Philly. They apparently enjoyed our company so much that they insisted on buying us shots....shots of what - J and I are still not sure. We know it tasted like ass and based on the fact that the next day I had not only cigarette burns all over my left arm (the disadvantages of being a short ass girl) but a terrible stomach ache and a case of...the big D...well, I am assuming it was tequila.

I have a pic of us that is awesome that we took while we were at the beach. I'll probably post it tomorrow - but for right now I have to work on studying for my speech class quiz tomorrow and also prepare the first speech that is due tomorrow as well (that I should have done over the weekend but oh well.)

Lots of love to everyone. A big shout out, big hug, and big old "boosh boosh" to J!! "We sure did have some old-fashioned fun!"