I think once reading through this post - you can tell I was composting...just writing shit on a page to get out some kind of underlined frustration. I wrote a lot of these about work and the environment I found myself in every single day. It was ridiculously disturbing to watch these people gravel and pant to anyone who held a title higher than their own. And yet, I know this is the basic foundation of any corporate office, unfortunately.
Without further ado...
I am pretty sure, at least almost precisely sure, after working three or
four years in the banking industry that it is swarmed with men in expensive
suits that have ball-less balls. Yes, that's right, you heard me. Ball-less balls.
How are these different than having no balls at all? Well, for that fact
alone, you see. Without knowing from firsthand experience (as much as I am now
self-proclaiming to be a "balls" expert) I am almost certain that all the men
here have their balls in tact. I don't go out of my way to ask them of this
fact, I merely just assume because they play their manly appearance in quite an
impressively convincing way. So these men have balls, yet they are ball-less. Follow me yet?
Take yesterday for example. Since I began working for the mortgage industry
almost three or four years ago now, I have been surrounded by bankers and
"mortgage lenders" (aka the less glorifying name of Loan Officer. Apparently
"Mortgage Lender" looks that much better on a business card in
neat and tiny professional font.) who are men. It is a very male-dominated
business. I think for every four loan officers, there is a woman counterpart.
That's the ratio to my untrained eye.
Regardless, these men walk around all day in their three-piece suits,
especially where I currently work, and their pure silk ties, and their
Nordstrom-bought shoes. They walk the hallways of the building, sometimes
perusing the cubicles as if to say "I am Loan Officer, Here me ROAR!". But more
often than not, they are found giving in to small demands and eagerly tempted by
hierarchy power that impresses them with free memberships to country clubs, or
the day off to mingle on some rich bastard's yacht.
Who knew having
ball-less balls paid off so well?