Monday, April 9, 2007

Easter is gone...a new birth and a new leaf has been turned over...

Well Easter has come and gone. I have no idea where it went. I just remember sitting in the basement of my parent's house, watching my little brother play Wii and wondering why I was there...

Easter just isn't what it was in the 80's. The Easter bonnets were still big then, with the loud ass ribbon print in my hair and the loud floral print on the dress with the extra light pink lace around the collar and the sleeves. Oh Lord, the sleeves were puffed like cream puff pies and my socks with white eyelet with the damn black or white patent leathers that you got at the local shoe store where your parents knew the owners by name.

Now, Easter has become just another Sunday that my family finds it pertinent to torture each other with the other one's presence. Literally, the moment I walked into the kitchen with my older brother the insults started spewing: about my clothes, my jewelry, my shoes, my make up...every single thing. It didn't bother me to the point of tears or being depressed or crawling in the fetal position, nor did it maim me in any permanent emotional did however get on my nerves and under my skin. But I kept my mouth shut. I just walked around the kitchen, got my plate of food and walked off.

Before Easter, A's baby was born!! Welcome to the world Baby Jackson! You're as cute as all the other adorable critters in your family! J said that he was a super happy baby, so I am so siked to finally get to see him in person and hold the lil' tyke.

As for the new leaf... I am just gonna start looking to find someone I am comfortable talking to. I think it's just that I need someone to hash shit out with, quite honestly. I completely understand my surroundings, and how people work and how they think (the people I have to interact with on a daily basis) but in terms of how to deal with it, I get lost now and again. Because just like me, those people are always changing. My parents are changing...whether its for the best or the worst I have yet to decide, but now I have no idea where to channel all of my energy anymore. They just drain me just...looking at them. And since they are my parents, there is really no other alternative except to deal - unless I were to move to an entirely different continent and even then, I am sure my mother would try to email me a ten paged letter about how much worse her life is than everyone else's. ...So that's my goal. It's not that I am completely discontent with my life right now ( as I said previously), but that I am discontent with how I am approaching things...the people, parents, to be more exact. My family to be even more precise.

Besides all that, it's Monday... and I am already ready for the weekend.


Ryan said...

I think everything will work out for you in the end, Em. I really want the best for you, and I know you will get it eventually because I believe you deserve it.

Remember if you ever need anyone to talk to about ANYTHING, don't hesitate to give me a call or contact me. I'm always here for you. :)

TL said...

Ever try cleaning out your closet? I mean, REALLY cleaning out your closet??

All kidding aside, everything seems to have an uncanny way of correcting itself. Maybe you're trying too hard to find something wrong...when it could just be a really bad week/month? I'm not undermining your feelings either...somewhere I know that there's some hurt. But try to shine your music, and throw shit out of your closet.

After that, see what happens next. But one thing at a time, one day at a time.