My boss told me that my goal is to get this entire project complete by the end of the year and I'll get a bonus. But I am so unmotivated. I don't know what it is. I feel like everything I do at this job is just ... bullshit on paper. I push paper all day long.
It's so difficult whenever I meet someone new and they ask me what I do. I literally sit there with a blank expression on my face for a few minutes. I want to say "nothing" but I know that's not a truly accurate answer.
I can just imagine the look on my boss' face as she sits at a bar for happy hour (she frequents a lot of bars in this area, mostly because there are a lot of bars in this area and also because she tends to fit the typical happy hour mold.) and some handsome guy comes up to her. They start a friendly conversation, smiles all around and then he leans in and asks her what she does for a living.
With complete and utter enthusiasm she perks up, her head lifts and her eyes widen and she grins wide and says, "I work in Commercial Lending!"
That's how excited she gets about this job. That's how nauseating it is for me to watch her get so excited about this job.
I know I am ready for something else. I am on the verge of jumping on the next employment train that comes into the station. It's just a matter of when and which train.